14 Mar You’ll Never Say ‘I’m Sorry” the Same Ever Again

The full-proof framework for your next apology that’ll make you — and them — feel better instantly.

This week, I learned how to apologize.

Despite the 40+ years on this planet practicing my humanity — and thinking I’m doing a pretty good job at it — it was our 8-year old daughter who gave my hubby, Brian, and I a profound lesson on what it looks like when you truly apologize.

She saw through the weak delivery of his ‘I’m sorry’ to me after a small and totally stupid tiff over the monumentally important question we seem to butt heads on weekly: Who’s making dinner to feed the humans in our house? (I’m guessing you can relate in some way.)

With the courage I didn’t know she had in dealing with adults, our daughter made a suggestion that stopped us in our tracks.

Stunned with its simple beauty and full-proof efficacy, my apologies will never be the same again.

Here’s the framework so you can try it out too. I’ve filled in what our apology looked like so you can see it action.

1. I’m sorry for: Yelling at you about there being no pizza heated up for me.
2. This was wrong because: It’s not ok to speak to you like that. I took my bad mood from a tough day out on you. I was frustrated and got impatient.
3. In the future I will: Stay calm and cool. I will take a deep breath or take a break from the conversation so I don’t take out my frustrations on you. I’m working on this.
4. Will you forgive me? “Yes I forgive you”, I say, with a smile.

That’s it. No more, no less. And it worked.

This is what every apology should feel like.

Try it out for yourself. Imagine a leader, a boss you work for who apologizes this way… someone you’d be more excited to follow, no? What if that person who led like this was you?

Shoot me an email and let me know the difference it makes in your relationships both at work and at home.

With love and leadership,

-K